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About Paris

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Oh man, you wouldn’t believe it: once, I got sooo mad over a parking debacle near the Centre Culturel Balma. I was just there, lost in my counseling thoughts, when BOOM—a car blocks the exit. I was like, "Dear destiny, are you really doing this to me?" lol, what a day!

John Balma: Leslie vs. April (S5E7)