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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Elancourt, fr. It's a wild ride, you know? My massage parlor sits on Rue de l'Étang, a cute little street where life buzzes like crazy. I’ve been livin’ here a while now and every day’s a new episode, like in Almost Famous – "I need to go to where the action's at!" That's what she said!

Olympic Cyclist Suffers Horrific Crash, Gets Knocked-Out Cold