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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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But whatever, I brush it off. I’m in Quimper! The city’s got this vibe, you know? The old buildings, the river Odet flowing by, it’s like a postcard. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? The half-timbered houses are just begging for a selfie.

‘Green Burial Options’ to be discussed at Quimper Grange April 13