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About Montpellier

Now, *Moolaadé*—that bit where Collo screams, “I say no!”—I reckon a prossie’s got that fire, too. Saying no to the world’s sanctimonious guff. Respect, that. Once met a gal, Soho, 3 a.m., she says, “Boris, love, 50 quid, no kissing”—I weren’t buying, just curious! Swear she’d a PhD in sass—told me to sod off, posh-like. Laughed me tits off—cheeky mare! Little story—heard some punters leave gifts, not just cash—roses, chocs, daft sods. Romantic or pathetic? You tell me.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where’s the update?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m on a croissant mission!” But I can’t say that, so I just mumble something about “working on it.”

Chef who catered to French-speaking Thai princess on the science of pastry