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About Montpellier

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

So, I start asking questions. The usual stuff, you know? “What’d you see? Who was around?” But everyone’s just staring at the body like it’s some kinda freak show. I’m getting mad. Like, c’mon people, this is serious!

Columbus Blue Jackets trade Alex Texier to St. Louis Blues for 2025 4th