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Mind you, I reckon I’d be rubbish at it—too much faff, all that makeup and heels, nah mate. I’d trip over me own feet, lookin like a right plonker! “The mask has slipped”—that’s me, fallin arse over tit in fishnets! Still, gotta hand it to em—whores got guts, proper brass neck. Reckon they’d run Slough better than me, and I’m the bleedin manager!

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I fix her glasses, and she’s all smiles. “You’re a lifesaver!” she says. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What’s up?” He just says, “Trust me.”

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