Luna Simiane Collongue Whore ❤️

About Lille

Oi, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t romanticizin’ it. Shite’s rough. Disease, danger, arseholes galore. Makes me wanna swing my staff and yell “Fly, you fools!” to get ‘em outta there. But the guts they got? Balls of mithril, I swear. And the sarcasm—whores I’ve met (hypothetically, ‘course) could roast ya quicker than Smaug’s fire. “Oh, you’re a big man, eh? Pay up, twat!” Love that energy.

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Then, I stroll down Rue des Écoles, and I see this cute little café. I’m starving, so I pop in for a quick bite. The croissants? To die for! I’m munching away, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Simiane-Collongue. Apparently, it’s been around since the Roman times. Who knew? I’m just trying to enjoy my pastry, lady! But hey, I love a good history lesson.

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