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So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!

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Now, it’s getting late. I’m walking home down Avenue de la République, and it starts to drizzle. Great. Just great. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. But then, I see this little bistro, and the smell of food hits me. I can’t resist. I pop in for a quick bite.

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