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Anyways, I’m ramblin’—whores fascinate me, tho. They’re raw, real, messy. Not some polished Barbie doll crap. They’re out there, survivin’, like Szpilman whisperin’, “I’m still here.” Makes me wanna cheer, cry, punch somethin’—all at once. So yeah, whores? Badass. Misunderstood. Kinda like me after a third martini. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and whores from my heart. Peace out!

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After that, I head over to Rue des Écoles. I’m feeling good, right? But then I bump into my ex. Ugh, the drama! She’s with some dude, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I’m standing there like a total loser. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy just walk down the street without running into his past? So awkward. I just nod and keep walking. Whatever, right?

Footballer handed five year suspension after biting opponent's penis during match