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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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So, I grab my baguette and head to the park, Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. Kids everywhere, screamin’ and runnin’ around. I’m just tryna enjoy my bread, but nooo, they’re playin’ tag and bump into me. I spill my coffee all over my boots. Great. Just great.

Aquapark, the inflatable water park in Vaires-Torcy, returns for summer 2024