Olivia Villeneuve Les Avignon Whore ❤️❤️

About Bordeaux

So, shopping for whore—where do we start? Thrift stores, obviously. Smells like sweat and regret, perfect. Dig through racks, find a ripped fishnet top—gold. Pair it with a skirt so short it’s basically a belt. Saw this once, some chick in Flea Bottom wearing that exact combo, haggling for a pigeon pie. Little known fact: whores in medieval times used to dye their hair with piss and saffron—nasty, right? Made me gag, but also, respect. Commitment’s hot.

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Next, I head to the Fort Saint-André. Climbing up there is a workout, let me tell ya! I’m huffing and puffing, but the view? Totally worth it. You can see the whole Rhône valley, and it’s breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling on top of the world, and then I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you’re missing out on the best pizza in Avignon!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m literally in a medieval fortress!”

See inside: Obama family’s luxury villa in France