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Hooked up once, girl brought her cat. CAT. Mid-date, it’s staring me down. “I felt that tremor of hesitation,” like Jesse says. I’m allergic, sneezing, tryna play it cool. Absurd, yo. Another time, this dude—yeah, I swing both ways—kept flexing his gym pics. Bro, I’m here for sex, not a TED Talk. Made me happy tho, laughed for days.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Rue de l'Église. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and charm. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a delivery truck that just backed into a lamppost. I mean, c’mon! How do you mess that up? The driver hops out, looking like he just saw a ghost. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you’re in Wavrin, not a demolition derby!

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