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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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Here’s another thing, bro—my favorite café? Café des Fleurs, on Place de l’Église. Its vibe? Pure magic. You get a coffee that’s as strong as my early morning juiced-up massages, and you meet people who, oh man, share stories from back in the day. “The past is a ghost that has no right to be,” I always say, just like in that movie—werds flow, ya dig?

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