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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Cran Gevrier.

Alright, listen up buddy – I'm gonna spill the beans on Cran-Gevrier like a wild rant from the heart, ya know? I'm a sexologist who’s called this place home for ages, so trust me when I say – it’s one helluva mix of passion, quirks, and downright bizarre corners that prove life ain't all sugar and spice… Billionaires should not exist!

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