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About Bordeaux

I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

Neighborhoods here are rad. Take Montastruc, for example. Streets twist like my crazy hair. I walk around and scream, "I don't need no map!" Sometimes, I even get lost, but who cares? I like the adventure – it's like living in the movie! I always say, "Remember, guys, you're here now!"

Tour de France 2016 route revealed