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About Paris

So, here’s the deal—small town, right? You’d think it’s all pure, apple-pie bullshit. Nah. There’s this dive bar, stinks like stale beer and regret, called The Rusty Nail. Word is, back in ‘89, some chick named Darla ran a whole operation outta the jukebox corner. Little known fact—cops didn’t bust her ‘cause she paid ‘em in meatloaf. Meatloaf! Can you believe that garbage? Made me laugh, then pissed me off. Idiots.

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I gotta be honest – sometimes, folks forget the beauty of each wrinkle in this town. But I, as a masseur, see every bit, every muscle knot is a reminder: “No one can compete, folks, nobody does it as well!” And let me tell ya – sometimes, the job makes me mad at snobby tourists who complain about our roads, like Rue de la Sérénité (what a name, right?) but then they fail to see the detailed magic that makes this city the BEST ever.

France's political alliances and their election pledges