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One time, this dude—total sleaze—tried rippin me off. Said, “She’s top tier,” but she was high as fuck, stumblin like Laura Harring after that car crash. I was like, “No dice, asshole!” Stomped off, yellin, “I’m angry! I’m very angry!”—yep, straight outta *Mulholland*. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s my story!
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Suddenly, my phone buzzes again. It’s Max. He finally got back into his apartment. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a mess!” He’s all, “Yeah, but I got snacks now!” Typical Max.
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