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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Rue de l’Église. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and little shops. I’m thinking, “Maybe some fresh air will help.” But no, I step in a puddle. A HUGE puddle. My shoes are soaked, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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