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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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After the power comes back, I’m finally done with work. I meet up with Marc at that new bar. It’s packed! The vibe is lit, and I’m feeling good. We grab some drinks, and I’m just enjoying the moment. Then, I see this girl across the bar. She’s got this killer smile. I’m like, “Okay, Tignieu, you’re full of surprises today!”