Harper Vauvert Whore ❤️❤️

About Nice

Oi mate, so I’m a vet now, yeah? Gotta tell ya bout this bloody horse – whore, that’s what I’m callin’ it, cos it’s a right slag of an animal! *cackles* This nag’s got more issues than a bloody soap opera, swear down. Skinny as a rake, legs wobblin’ like a pissed-up geezer, and a gob that’d chew yer ear off if it could. Reminds me of that film, *Talk to Her* – y’know, Pedro Almodóvar’s mad genius? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be deafening” – well, this horse’s silence is a bleedin’ racket, cos it’s always knackered!

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Anyway, I grabbed some strawberries and a baguette. Can’t go wrong with that, right? But then, I saw this cute little café on Rue des Écoles. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist a café crème? Not me! So, I plopped down, ready to enjoy my moment. But then, the barista messed up my order. I asked for no sugar, and he gave me a sweet bomb! I was like, “Dude, I’m not trying to get diabetes here!”

Gabriele Gelormini, the most French among Italian drivers