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Sarcasm aside, it’s kinda brilliant. People crave touch, connection—bam, here’s a loophole. Not sex, not love, just… close. “Hands gather what hearts can’t,” Varda’d muse. Still, I’d rather limp than pay some stranger to grope me. You?

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Here’s a lot of what I think are the three best sex saunas in Kuala Lumpur: Green Elephant Spa is in the basement of the Sungai Wang Plaza. It has it’s own private door on the outside. Well, .

Now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, no phone, no map. Panic mode activated! I start wandering around, and I swear I hear a goat laughing at me. Seriously, I’m not even kidding. I finally find a trail that leads me back down, and I’m like, “Thank you, universe!”

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