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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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Finally, the fire brigade shows up, and it’s just a false alarm. Phew! But now I’m late for lunch. I dash over to this little taverna on Agiou Dimitriou street. I order a plate of moussaka, and it’s heavenly. I’m in food paradise, but then my phone buzzes again. It’s my mom. She’s like, “When are you coming to visit?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m in the middle of a moussaka crisis here!”

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