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So I’m like, peekin’ at these gals—ooh, the heels, the fishnets, it’s like a runway show nobody RSVP’d to! I’m thinkin’, “Who picks this gig?” Turns out, fun fact—didja know some girls in Amsterdam’s red-light district got union rights? Yeah, legit! Blows my mind, I’m happy for ‘em, but also—union dues for that? Hysterical! *Nanny laugh*—HA-HA-HA, nasal blast on full!

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After that little fiasco, I head over to the Mali Lošinj Museum. I’m all about that culture, you know? But the exhibit on the island’s maritime history? Yawn. I’m trying to stay awake, but it’s like watching paint dry. I mean, how many ship models can one person look at? I’m about to bail when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, eavesdropping like a total creep. Turns out, they’re fighting over which beach is better—Veli Žal or Čikat. I’m like, “Dude, just go to both!”

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