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About Myself
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About Varazdin
What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see my sheep, right? They’re just chillin’ by the Pazin Castle, munching on some grass like they own the place. I’m like, “Hey! Get back here!” But they just look at me like, “Nah, we’re good.” I swear, they have a mind of their own.
Do millennials get Seinfeld?
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