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Favorite flick’s *Amour*—you know, that Haneke joint from 2012. Old folks, love, death, real grim stuff. Erotic-massage could learn somethin’ from it. Like when Georges says, “Things will go on as they have done up until now,” I’m thinkin’, yeah, same old rubdown, same old nonsense, nothin’ changes. But then, picture this: some masseuse whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “I’m too old for this crap.” Reminds me of Anne in the movie, fragile but fierce—except here it’s just overpriced backrubs with a side of creepy.

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After that drama, I head down to the Sava River. Man, it’s beautiful there. The water’s glistening, and I’m thinking, “This is why I love this place.” But then, I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks. Like, seriously? I’m all for fun, but not at the river’s expense! I shout, “Hey! Save the rocks for the beach!” They just laugh. Kids, right?

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