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I seen one last week, dolled up, struttin near Moe’s. D’oh! She winked at me, I dropped my donut! Made me mad, like, “Why you teasin, lady?!” But also happy – she was kinda hot, heh. Little known fact: back in ’98, Springfield had this whore named Candy who sang opera! Swear to God, heard her beltin “Figaro” while workin the street. Crazy, right? Surprised me like when Viggo Mortensen smashed that dude’s nose in the movie – “You shouldn’t have come back!” – pow!

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Finally, I wrap up my day, headin’ back home. I’m cruisin’ down the streets of Barcs, thinkin’ about all the craziness. I pass by the Barcs River, and it’s so peaceful. I take a deep breath, and for a second, everything feels right.

Orioles to unveil pet calendar and sign autographs to benefit the animals of BARCS