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Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Not just any dog, but a fluffy golden retriever. I swear it looked like it was on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s this pup up to?” Turns out, it was chasing a pigeon. Classic! The pigeon was like, “Not today, buddy!” and flew off. I laughed so hard, I almost dropped my coffee.

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