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Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

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After that drama, I decide to hit up the Komárom-Esztergom County Museum. I’m all about that local history, you know? But when I get there, it’s closed! Like, what’s up with that? I’m standing outside, feeling like a total loser. I mean, I just wanted to soak in some culture, not stare at a locked door.

Bridges heal World War I wounds of Slovak-Hungarian city