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Personal quirk? I’d overthink it—analyze their limp, their smirk. Is she lyin’ about STDs? Probably. Everybody does. Exaggeratin’ for effect—imagine me, House, hirin’ some gal just to diagnose her cough. “Congrats, you’re a walkin’ Petri dish!” Humor’s dark, but it’s mine. Little known story—heard about this hooker in Vegas who only took Bitcoin. Freakin’ pioneer, right? Blew my mind.

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Then, the door swings open, and in walks this old lady. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. She orders a glass of red wine, and I’m thinking, “Okay, she’s classy.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mici, and how he’s the king of the house. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all for cat royalty, but I gotta serve drinks here!”

There's a reason Princess Diana never wore gloves