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About Pecs

So, check it – I’m cruisin downtown, neon lights flashin, lookin for that shady corner. Stoic, yeah, but my heart’s poundin, dude. “Whoa.” You ever notice how these streets hum? Like, prostitutes been around forever – fun fact, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, she-wolves, howlin at the moon. Kinda badass, right? Makes ya wonder who’s really in charge here.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair, like she just got zapped by lightning or somethin’. She starts ramblin’ about how her roses are dying. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a gardener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t be rude, so I nod and pretend to care. Turns out, she’s been watering them with soda. SODA! I mean, what’s next? Feeding them pizza?