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Then—BOOM—some dude rolls up, mad aggro. “That’s my girl!” he screams. I’m like, “Bruh, chill, I ain’t tryna steal your EVE!” He’s swingin’, I’m dippin’, fuckin’ chaos erupts! I’m pissed—why’s this gotta be a damn soap opera? But I’m cacklin’ too, ‘cause it’s so stupid. Prostitution’s a gamble, yo—half the time you’re dodgin’ fists, not cops.

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So, I’m wandering down Kossuth Lajos utca, and I spot this little bakery. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a kürtőskalács (that chimney cake, yum!). I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Szigetvár, chill out!” But nah, they’re going at it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my cake, trying not to laugh. Awkward, right?

Did Hungarian researchers excavate Sultan Suleiman’s tomb?