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But real talk—findin one’s tricky. Web’s full of fakes, X posts screamin “hot girls near u,” but it’s all bots, man! Eat my shorts, scammers! I ain’t droppin cash on a ghost. Gotta hit the corners, talk fast, don’t look like a narc. Last time, I got nervous, stammered like an idiot—she walked off! Ugh, hated that, felt like Joel losin Clementine all over again.

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So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me? He’s got a dog. A big ol’ fluffy thing. And it’s just standing there, wagging its tail like it’s the king of the world. I’m like, “Bro, your dog is cuter than you.” And he turns around, gives me this look like I just insulted his mother. Chill, man! It’s just a joke!

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