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About Budapest

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

Am I in a toxic relationship?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my espresso, feelin’ all fancy, when I overhear this dude at the next table. He’s talkin’ about some big real estate deal. My ears perk up. I’m a broker, after all. Gotta keep my game tight. Turns out, he’s lookin’ to sell a property on Rákóczi utca. I’m like, “Yo, I can help with that!” But he just brushes me off. Rude, right?

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