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Alright, listen up, folks—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout FINDIN’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, ‘cause billionaires shouldn’t exist! Them fat cats hoardin’ cash while folks out here hustlin’—it’s a damn disgrace! So, picture this—me, a texture artist, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin”—you know, that flick by Hou Hsiao-hsien? 2015, pure art, man—slow burns and silent stares. And I’m like, “How’d Nie Yinniang find her target so smooth?” That’s the vibe I want—findin’ a prostitute with *style*, ya feel me?

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Then, the phone rings. It’s a customer. They want a custom stove, but they’re super picky. “I need it in blue, with gold accents, and it has to match my curtains.” I’m like, “Lady, this ain’t a fashion show!” But I keep my cool. “Sure, no problem.” Inside, I’m screaming. Who knew stoves could be so complicated?

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