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About Nyiregyhaza

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

Fire trucks, police, the whole shebang. I’m just trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m losing it. I mean, this is my job, right? I’m supposed to be the calm one. But I’m just a dude in a suit, trying to make sense of this madness.