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Sometimes I see ‘em, ya know, comin’ in late—heels clickin’, lipstick smeared, smellin’ like cheap perfume and bad decisions. Makes me laugh! One time, this chick—swear to God—drops a condom in the elevator. A condom! I’m like, “What am I, the janitor now?” But also, respect! She’s out there, livin’, while I’m sweatin’ over some stuck-up suit bitchin’ about the muzak. “The music’s fine, asshole!” I wanna scream. Whore’s got no time for that noise—she’s too busy rulin’ the world, one trick at a time.

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So, I’m sharpening this sword, right? And it’s a beauty. I’m all focused, and then I hear this loud crash. I look up, and it’s a delivery guy on a bike, totally wiped out on the cobblestones. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He’s just layin’ there, and I’m half-laughing, half-worried. Turns out, he was fine, just a little bruised ego. But man, the chaos!

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