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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little bistro on Rákóczi utca. I order a gulyás, thinking it’ll warm my soul. But when it arrives, it’s like a tiny bowl of soup. I’m staring at it like, “Is this a joke?” I mean, I could’ve used it as a shot glass! So, I ask the waiter, “Yo, where’s the rest?” He just shrugs. I guess portion sizes are a thing here.

Fig. 1. A: bilateral eczematoid blepharitis with scattered ulcers,...