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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Fonyod’s got this gorgeous stretch along Lake Balaton. The water’s sparkling, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost knocks me into the lake! I’m like, “Chill, little dude!” But he just giggles and keeps running. Kids these days, man.

PHOTOS: Passenger shipping season started at Lake Balaton