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Heya doll, it’s me, Marilyn – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” – spillin’ the tea on prostitutes, ‘cause I’m the prison warden now, ha! So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them gals, y’know, like Satine from *Moulin Rouge!* – “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Breaks my heart, it does! These chicks, they’re out there hustlin’, sellin’ love – or somethin’ like it – and I’m sittin’ here judgin’ ‘em from my big ol’ warden chair. Ain’t that a kick?

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So, I finally make it to the beach, and it’s packed. Families everywhere, sunbathers, and a bunch of teenagers blasting music. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument behind me. Turns out, it’s two guys fighting over a beach ball. Like, really? A beach ball? I’m just sitting there, shaking my head. “Get a grip, fellas!”

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