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Here’s a laugh—mate of mine, Dave, swore his missus cured his back with a “special rub”. Winked so hard I thought he’d pop an eye. Sexual-massage can be dodgy, tho—some parlours ain’t legit. *Caveat emptor*, buyer beware, or ya might end up with more than ya bargained for! Surprised me, how many blokes reckon it’s all happy endings. Nah, mush, sometimes it’s just relaxin’—no fireworks, just peace.

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Next, I head to the market on Fő utca. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to promote this new organic juice brand. I’m all hyped, right? But then, this old lady starts yelling at me. “Get off my turf!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryna make the world healthier!” But she wasn’t having it. I mean, c’mon, it’s just juice!

Fig. 1: Main sites of the Otomani-Füzesabony culture in Poland and...