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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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Finally, Gábor shows up, all outta breath. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you get chased by a dog or something?” He laughs and says he saw a street performer on Széchenyi utca doing some crazy juggling act. I’m intrigued.

Hungary gravediggers compete in national race