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Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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And then, this kid, maybe 10 years old, runs in. He’s got a skateboard under his arm, and he’s like, “Can I get a soda?” I’m like, “Sure, buddy, but you gotta pay!” He pulls out a crumpled bill, and I’m like, “Is that even real?” But whatever, I take it.

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