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So, yeh, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Me mate says, “Check Soho, bruv!” Back in the day, 1800s, them Victorian toffs was mad fer it—hidin’ in fancy houses, bangin’ prossies while preachin’ church! Hypocrites, we spits at ‘em! Nowadays, it’s all online, innit? Apps, chats—swipe fer a shag! Brandon’d lose his mind, “I need it now!” he’d growl, all sweaty and mad. Me too, sometimes—gets me proper riled!

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I get to the pékség, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m talking like she’s deciding between a croissant and a donut. Lady, just pick one! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my pastry, and it’s a chocolate croissant. Sweet victory, right? Wrong! I bite into it, and it’s like a chocolate explosion. I’m covered in gooey goodness. Great, now I look like a hot mess.

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