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About Depok

I’m all sneaky, like, “Gru don’t pay full price!” Barterin’s my ting—learnt dat from babushka back in Russia. She rolls her eyes, says, “50 bucks, take it or leave.” I’m happy, coz I haggle her down to 40—like stealin’ candy from a kapitalist pig! Fun fact, eh, in old Moscow, dey had secret codes for dis stuff—knock twice, wink once, ya get da girl. History’s wild, man!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I grabbed my stuff and dashed for cover. I ended up in this little café on Jl. Diponegoro. The coffee was bomb, but the Wi-Fi was slower than a turtle on a lazy day. I tried to post a video of my impromptu show, but it kept buffering. I was like, “C’mon, Batam! Get it together!”

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