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But then—bam!—I get mad. Some prick in a pickup cuts me off, nearly clips the car. “You fuckin’ stunad!” I yell, fist out the window. She’s laughin’ her ass off, and I’m like, “What’s so funny, huh?” She goes, “You’re a trip, Tony.” Yeah, damn right I am. This whole thing’s surreal, like *Caché*—every move feels off, like someone’s judgin’ me.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “Where’s that report?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Bulakamba! Can’t you see I’m busy living my best life?” But of course, I can’t say that. So, I just nod and promise to send it later.

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