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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

Ciranjang-hilir, Indonesia

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After that, I’m feeling all kinds of emotions. Happy, scared, excited. I come up for air, and there’s this group of kids on the shore. They’re laughing and pointing at me. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, my wetsuit’s got a rip. Great. Just great. Now I’m the laughing stock of Ciranjang-hilir.

Weak mag. 2.7 earthquake - Java, Indonesia, on Friday, Sep 27, 2024, at 12:44 am (GMT +7)