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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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After that, I decided to stroll down 2nd Ave. The street art there is insane! I mean, I’ve seen some cool murals, but this one? It was a giant guitar with a dragon wrapped around it. I was like, “Yo, that’s my spirit animal!” Took a pic, of course. Gotta flex on the ‘gram, ya know?

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