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So, I’m skippin’ down some shady street—thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Kinda like defusin’ a wire, red or blue, pick fast or boom! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, mates—gotta dodge the creeps, the cops, the “what the barnacle am I doin’?” moments. Once heard this wild tale—dude in Vegas, 1990s, paid a gal with a fake Krusty Krab coin! She took it, laughed, said, “Better than Monopoly money!” True story, swear on me spatula!

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But wait! I get a call from my buddy, Rizky. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this new café on Jalan Pahlawan.” I’m thinking, “I’m so done.” But then he mentions their coffee is to die for. I’m like, “Fine, one more stop.”

Fig. 1. The location of target villages in suburban Vientiane.