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Precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale. Erotic-massage, eh? We hates it! Slippery hands all over—nasty! Reminds me of Carol, that film—oh yes, 2015, Todd Haynes, my precious fave. “I don’t know what I want,” Carol says, all posh-like. Same with them massages—confusing, aye! You think it’s just a rub, then bam—oils, candles, weird vibes.

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We decide to head to Kebonarun Park to chill. I mean, it’s a nice spot, right? But the park’s flooded! I’m like, great, just great. We find a bench, but it’s wet. So, we’re just standing there, trying to avoid puddles. Rudi’s cracking jokes, and I’m trying not to slip.