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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Rome, Greece—those toga freaks were all about it. Rubbin’ olive oil on each other, gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. Fact: Tantra folks in India made it spiritual—called it some sacred release or whatever. Me? I’m just happy someone’s kneadin’ my knots, ya feel me? Last time I got one, I was pissed—dude’s hands were cold! Like, bruh, warm that shiit up, I ain’t here to freeze!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m talking buckets! We dash outta the warung, but it’s too late. We’re soaked. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Why does it always rain when I’m out?